Why do we need to talk about men’s mental health? I want to talk about something that we don’t talk about enough: men and their mental health. While it’s not exactly a women’s health topic, our typical focus at the Office on Women’s Health, we know that most women have important men in their lives. Fathers, partners, sons, brothers, uncles, and friends. Their health matters to us. They’re why we need to have a conversation about mental health — because I worry they’re not talking about it enough.
Good mental health is as important as oxygen. When it comes to males we experience the wide-ranging in expressing their true emotions, somewhat toxic masculinity is responsible for this situation.
Men have difficulty expressing emotion due to toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity refers to actions that discourage displays of emotion—other than anger—in men while also encouraging behavior that will deem the male “dominant” in a given situation. Even as children, young boys who express feelings are compared to girls in a negative context. Common responses to young males who become emotional include:
Boys don’t cry!
Man up!
Don’t be such a baby!
Don’t cry like a girl!
Be a man—get over it!
You throw like a girl!
You’ve likely heard these phrases directed at you or someone around you. You have probably noticed them in dialogue or in storylines on television shows and movies. And, you may even be guilty of uttering them yourself.
Imagine being a young boy, crying over a painful injury or an emotional heartbreak that feels like the end of the world, and then being told to “man up,” instead of being gently asked what’s making you cry, how you feel about it, and what you think you can do about it.
When feelings are dismissed and gender-defining thinking is heard repeatedly, a young person learns to avoid expressing their real feelings and begins to bottle up sadness. Over time, such behavior can lead to a dysfunctional emotional expression and ultimately, depression.
The main reason.
Men raised in a system that promotes traditional masculinity have complicated feelings towards their own emotions. Often, they attempt to shut them off or avoid them completely. I believe that this is the reason why men are more likely to use external methods to cope with the inward turmoil and pain caused by depression. Men often deal with depression by over-working. They also self-medicate by turning to substances such as drugs and alcohol as a way to avoid dealing with depression and anxiety.
Likely the biggest issue, and most concerning, is the pressure put on men to “suck it up” and to avoid their own health. It has been a pattern for years to see men avoid their own personal problems and health. All of this simply being done out of the pressure to provide for their families or pressure to move up in their career, likely even both.
One in seven Indians is affected by mental health issues, stated in research conducted by the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR). In 2017, nearly 197 million Indians experienced mental health problems. Depression alone affected 45.7 million people while Anxiety disorders affected 44.9 million people. Now, when it comes to mental health for men, the situation gets even more grave as men’s mental health issues are largely undocumented and unreported, which means that rarely do men seek treatment for mental health. Generally, men try to hide their depression with alcohol.
In fact, according to the National Mental Health Survey 2015-16, the prevalence of alcohol use disorders in males was 9% as against 0.5% in females. And the overall prevalence of mental morbidity was higher among males (13.9%) than among females (7.5%).
Is it easy to disregard your mental health just because you are a man? Don’t men suffer from depression and other mental health issues? Yes they do, but rarely are they given the space or the sensitivity to talk about it. The cultural expectation for them to be strong, stoic and unrelenting puts undue pressure on them to have it together at all times.
Women in general always find it easier to talk about their issues and problems so discussing mental health challenges is easier for them. Society and culture, in fact, are the main culprit that forces men to hide their emotions and weakness.
Ways to improve men’s mental health:
Get out and get active
Understand that it's OK to seek help
Take control of your finances.
Make mate ship a priority.
We can change the model of masculinity by telling children that it’s fine for boys to express and show emotion. Male role models can practice what they preach by expressing affection and emotion: telling their children they love them; being comfortable hugging them; showing that it’s okay to cry at weddings, funerals, when they are injured, etc. and discussing everyday emotions such as, “my day at work was overwhelming and I struggled with some low points.”
Teaching boys how to express their emotions adequately is the key to helping them become emotionally expressive. These lessons will have a positive effect on their life in the future.
- Anamika Tripathi