A person's sense of self-worth is the sense that an individual is good enough to be
loved and belong. It is often confused with self-esteem, which is defined by
external factors such as successes and achievements and is often inconsistent,
causing someone to feel unworthy.
As I have a long history of feeling unworthy, I know what it's like. It is always
frustrating to have thoughts in your mind that constantly say that you are not
enough and do not deserve all the love you receive. To get where I am, it took
me a lot of patience, healing, and time.
I think situations do define and make up our worth, and I think we are always
inclined to attach our worth to materialistic things. For instance, do my colleagues
like me, or how many people admire me? Moreover, if someone leaves us, our
worth takes a hit! We let people define our worth and not even once think about
ourselves. We have always let it be determined by other factors and circumstances.
If you have watched the movie Inside Out, you will see that each core memory
governs different aspects of our personality. For the character Riley, it was: Family island, Friendship island, and GoofBall island. Certainly, our islands determine our worth, and if one falls and destroys that value, then we have lost all of that value.
In case you don't get this reference, you NEED to watch the movie.
We find it difficult to not let things determine our value. My life is dominated by certain memories, which have determined how valuable I am. Because I had a multitude of health issues, I was constantly concerned with my health, which
undermined my self-esteem. After some time and reflection on the people in my
close circle, it occurred to me that it is foolish of me to base my value on how I
look and how I feel. It taught me instead to be grateful for my body. Think of the people around you in a new light; they are going through battles you don't know
about.
No one can judge you for your past or the number of times you have failed. No
matter what you weigh or what wrong you have done against others, I hope you
will realize that. The one thing I know is that you deserve love, compassion,
forgiveness, and joy.
You are the ONLY one who can take that away from you.
You must let go of the toxic beliefs that no longer serve you and return to yourself
with self-love. It's been there for a long time. As a result of constant struggle, you
buried it deep within.
These are the strategies that I have implemented that did have an impact on me.
1. Mind Your Thoughts:
Remember to talk yourself out of negative
thoughts if you start thinking about them. Utilize positive affirmations.
2. Positive affirmations:
Make sure you start your day every day by saying positive affirmations about your worth. A few example phrases are: "I am
worthy of love," "I deserve love," and "I deserve forgiveness". For me, this has been the holy grail. I have set my lock screen to my favourite affirmation.
3. Find Your People:
You may not realize how much low self worth you have until you identify your people. If you surround yourself with critical, negative, and judgmental people, this will further entrench those feelings. Find supportive friends who are fun, caring, and happy. Let go of those who treat you poorly or manipulate you.
4. Dealing with the past:
It is imperative that you first detach yourself from the experiences in your past that have negatively impacted your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It's also what stands in your way of loving yourself. After you have healed from the hurts of the past, you can begin to see yourself more positively.
5. Setting Boundaries:
This will help you stay worthy. Keeping boundaries with people, even with your friends and family, will not only help you grow but also allow you to understand what you're worth.
These are just some of the methods that have helped me get here! You are the one
who determines your worth! You have to be patient and persistent! Don't lose hope, the road ahead is long. My love goes out to you and I hope you realize how
amazing you are!
Love,
Aashna