Does the prevalence of mental health differ across gender?
Around 16.75% men will experience some mental health issue in their lifetime, as opposed to 10.80% women
Prakriti Poddar, Global Head for mental health at round glass, MD at Poddar Foundation agrees, “Men struggle more to accept the fact that they have a mental health issue and that they need help. The complex gender dynamics, especially stereotypes, of our society makes them consider seeking help for better mental health contrary to the concept of being strong and becoming unsuitable for the role of a provider. As per estimates, nearly 250 Indian men died by suicide every day in 2018, a number that is more than double the number of women.”
Worldwide statistics show that boys are beaten more than girls during childhood, and hence they grow up believing that men are violent. Not only are they viewed to be perpetrators of violence, but boys are most often victims of violence.
Reason behind lack of help-seeking can be:
* Conforming to traditional gender roles: (Men often aren’t encouraged to talk about their feelings. In fact, they’re sometimes discouraged from doing so)- At a very young age, society teaches us what are appropriate behaviors for our respective gender. “Men are generally under pressure to not show vulnerability as the traditional idea of a man is that of a protector/provider. Men are often taught to restrict their emotional expression, and focus largely on being successful and powerful. Therefore, many view asking for help as a sign of weakness.
Many boys learn from their parents and from other children that they are not supposed to express vulnerability or caring. They learn to suppress their emotional responses--like crying or even sad facial expressions--so much that, by the time they are adults, they are genuinely unaware of their emotions and how to describe them in words.
* Brushing it off: Men also get into the habit of “brushing it,” instead of facing difficult feelings. Vossenkemper explains: “Men are more solution-focused. This is basic psychology, but it’s still important to point out.
* Multiple obstacles: Men have to successfully complete a few steps before they can have a productive conversation about their feelings, as explained by Vossenkemper.
“First, they have to acknowledge that it’s a problem or that they’re struggling. This is hard enough in and of itself.
Second, they have to admit out loud that it’s a problem, which is even harder than admitting it to oneself.
Third they have to combat the shame that comes with not being man enough to handle it on their own.
Fourth, they have to learn a new way of thinking, feelings, and dealing with something, and in a way that they haven’t had to previously. All of these things are difficult, and in combination with a general societal judgment for men who admit weakness, it’s a recipe for ignoring and hoping the problem goes away.”
Signs that the guy might be struggling with his mental health:
*Psychologists also want people to know that quite often alcohol dependence in men is less about self-control and more about an underlying mental health issue like depression. When family and friends tend to undermine the importance of taking mental health illness seriously, people find it tough to have the conversation and silently suffer - leading to poor habit, aggression and a nagging feeling of sadness.
*Men who show violence are mostly victims of domestic violence. Dr Shaibya Saldanha, founder of Enfold India, observes that some acts of violence by men can be traced back to fathers dictating terms to their sons, telling them what to do and what not to do, what course to study and what work to do, all of which give rise to frustration and anger.
*Would joke about mental illness but won’t talk about it. Many men joke about a particular mental illness because they can relate to it but if asked seriously if they feel the same way, they would avoid the topic.
How to convince a guy to seek help:
*One way to convince more men to seek help is to convince them that the things they need help with are "normal." Giving reference of a celebrity he idealizes who struggled with his mental health and took help can be a good start.
*Another is talking to his parents as it is seen that most of the guys pick up the habit of not showing emotions from their parents. John Robertson, PhD, an emeritus professor at Kansas State University has a private practice that focuses almost entirely on men, and he says that in his advertising he emphasizes skills--like parenting skills or anger control skills--much more than, say, personal development.
*Don’t rush him. He might take some time to accept that he should take professional help, till then just keep on encouraging him.
*Friends play a major role is personality development, creating a safe environment where your friends are comfortable about sharing their feelings is an important step. You can help other men realise that talking about mental health is important and normal.
- NAVNIDHI SHARMA